Three More Weeks...

You know how when you plan something in the future it seems so easy, so well planned but then all of the sudden you glance at the calendar and realize that whatever it is you're planning is on the same month you're in?  My father's wife mentioned today that she was going to the dentist tomorrow, something that's been on the calendar since the fall but suddenly, now it's time to go, and she's dreading it.  That's sorta how I feel.  I was so confident when I clicked that register button way back in November.  I mean, the marathon was months and months away.  We weren't even going to be training for another month and a half.  No big deal.  Well, fast forward about 5 months and I'm in major "big-deal" mode.  What was a I thinking?  Not only am I supposed to run 26.2 miles but on the trails?  Seriously.  I am in way over my head here!!  That's the negative me.  The positive me?  "Yeah, you've got this.  Who cares if you've only run past 20 miles one time?  Who cares that 80% of your training has been on the roads in the last month?  You've got it.  C'mon, stop worrying!" 

So, which me wins out?  The negative one wins just about every argument.  I hate it.  I want to feel strong and confident, and I do know that the training plan has made me a better runner.  Not a doubt about it.  I've shaved about a minute off of my usual long run pace and that's huge for me.  But still running about 5.2 miles past my longest run to date on race day has me freaked out.  I have to find a way to gag the negative me.  I need encouragement right now, not the negativity.  Next week is my last shot at going for the long run and after that I MUST taper off.  This week was supposed to be it but then my cold hit.  Ugh.  Can't catch a break, lol!  And my running partner has been on rest for his achilles and I can't wait til he's back.  He always pushes me to go farther, to run faster and I know that he is a big help to my running too. 

So, I just need to calm down and go out there and run.  Worst that can happen is a DNF the hubby tells me.  DNF is not an option in my book.  If I have to crawl across the finish line, I guess that's what I'll do.  But I'm not letting myself go backward so no changing my race distance to a half-marathon.  I just won't let myself.  I think.  :)