Staring a new decade down

I was commenting last night to the hubby that something about birthdays makes you retrospective.  You look at your past, evaluating your choices, judging your actions.  It's a process we all probably go through from time to time but especially so on those milestone birthdays.  As of yesterday, I am officially in my 40's.  Wow...when I was a kid that seemed so old!  But now that I'm here, it's not bad.  I feel like my stupid choices and decisions when I was younger somehow still landed me square in the middle of a pretty awesome life.  I say it so often that I know it must sound cliched, but I am blessed.  So many times in life, it's easy to get caught up in the trials of parenting, stresses of what family issues can bring, work stress, etc, etc that we have to work extra hard for those glimmers of the blessings in our lives.  Negativity grows like a weed without much prompting, but a positive attitude needs to be nurtured and fed to keep growing in our lives.  I choose to focus on the good because why let the bad ruin my day? 

For my birthday, I have been showered with so much love from my friends and family.  It's hard not to feel positive when you're surrounded by good wishes, flowers and notes! 

I was just having fun taking photos of them!  Looking around and seeing such loveliness is an instant mood brightener!  And then we spent the morning walking around the local garden show - so excited we got to talk to some beekeepers and are one step closer to getting our own apiary.  So many new things on the horizon for us - creating terraced gardens on the hillside to get more veggies growing, adding bees to our property, going all organic with our food and just making some changes that make our life more sustainable, more back to the earth.  It feels good! 

So, today we're off to run at a new park we've not tried yet.  I can't wait to scope out some new trails...less than 2 months til the marathon and I can't wait!  I'm so excited.  Life is good - even as a 40 year old!  :)

Saturday Recap - with a Wildcat 10K RR

It's a week until Christmas and I am pretty happy with where we're at.  There are only a few gifts under the tree - my kids have gotten to that point where what they want doesn't always go easily under a tree and sometimes it's the experience of getting the gift for them that's more important.  Lyndsay and I went to the outlets Friday night to get her Coach bag and it was fun just being there and helping her choose what she wanted.  I will take those moments over the unwrapping around the tree any day! 

Really, one of the most special things we did this year as a family was adopting a family at the local domestic violence shelter and buying gifts off of their Christmas list for them.  It is a gift to be able to help someone else, and I feel so blessed in my own life, and wanted to pass that on.  I hope the kids love their gifts and I hope that this coming year is a blessed one for them and their mom.  They deserve to have that chance.  No matter how little the difference we can make in someone else's life, it's worth making the effort to do it.  It can mean more than we realize.  We dropped off our gifts for the family Saturday morning and I got a little emotional about it.  I've been there and it's a tough thing to go through.  God bless that family.  They'll be in my prayers, not just now at Christmas, but often. 

Then it was time to get ready to run!  Back home for some snacks and to get dressed.  Brr....it was still chilly so it's always the shorts/long pants debate.  I think Troy and I were both happy we chose longer pants when we actually got there, as well as being glad we grabbed hats and gloves on our way out the door.  I was pretty anxious about this race because I'd been hearing horror stories about the hills.  And, now that I've run it?  Yeah, the hills were tough.  Especially that middle one from halfway through mile 4 up to a bit past mile 5 but it wasn't as awful as I'd been told to be prepared for.  I had a great run, even running the first two miles with the hubby before I cut him loose to pick up his pace. The atmosphere was nice, people were chatty and the cars were respectful for the most part.  And the subway cookies post race were pretty awesome!!!  So, I came in at an hour for my first 10K.  Technically my race time was 1:00:28:96 but all I care about is that 1:00 because my goal was an hour or less.  I was so happy as I pushed to the finish that it was an hour...and then it was time to pack up and head to Starbucks for a mocha to warm up.  That's the way to wrap up a chilly Saturday run! 

The rest of our Saturday was just as nice - headed to Sonnewald for some groceries, going shopping for some good deals, (more running stuff, lol) a little white pizza for a late dinner, and an epsom salt bath with a glass of wine to round it out.  Life just is sublime sometimes even when it's nothing special at all.  Just having people around you that you love, and remembering to enjoy the routine of life makes every little moment special.  And I love my life!

Aha!

In seeking out who we are, we always tend to look behind us - into our childhoods, our families, and, even in our own choices.  It's as if we're expecting that "aha!" moment to jump out of our memories and be able to blame or explain all of today's current events on that one pivotal moment.  It may exist, or maybe it's something deep within ourselves.  Looking for the final puzzle piece doesn't always complete the puzzle in real life and that's frustrating.  Events that happen may change and shape us, but who we are is ultimately left up to ourselves.  Our own choices in reacting to situations, whether past or present, really make us who we are regardless of our parents, our upbringing or even who we've become.

Life is ever-changing and evolving around us and there really isn't one moment to reflect on - just billions of little moments strung together like Christmas lights.  Laying on the floor they're tangled and a mess but with some initiative to untangle and to hang them on a simple tree, you stand back and realize how breathtaking that tangled mess of lights has become.  That's what I think life is like.  If you are looking down around your feet at all of the things that make up life, it doesn't really show the true beauty but if you stand back and look up at all of those thoughts and memories hung around you, the beautiful glow of the light moments blots out the dark spaces of the tree of our lives.

The best part of our lives is that every day is a new chance to make change, take chances and create the life we want.  Embracing life without fear is the real "aha!" moment.