Sometimes all you can do is watch

One of my favorite quotes - "raising teenagers is like trying to nail jello to a tree" - is pretty apt to describe our house lately.  I feel like every move I make, every thought I have, everything in general as it pertains to me trying to be a mother is just wrong.  And I don't think that quote really sums it up properly.  Just trying to raise kids in general is an exercise in frustration, so I think that would be a better quote "raising kids is like trying to nail jello to a tree"  - I'm sure most parents would agree.  The girl just moved out for the third time.  It's a charm, right?  Time will tell I suppose.  And the boy hates us.  Plain and simple.  I know, it comes with the territory of being a parent of a teenager, but it makes it no less painful to feel that kind of anger vented your direction.  You think back to the sweet years when you were smart, they adored you and you just knew that they were going to be yours forever, no matter where they headed in life.  Then, they turn 13, and then 14 and then 15 and then the dreaded 16 when they become all knowing, and you are the only roadblock between them and the idyllic life that lies ahead of them.  So they hate you for it.  For your love and your guidance and your punishments because it's all a reminder that they're still a kid even though they know they're ready for that big world that awaits them. 

Funny, I remember those years and all that frustration but it does little to help me relate to them anyway because in their eyes, I can't understand.  I know we're all different and are on our journeys but still, us parents really do know sometimes more than they give us credit for.  But still, sometimes all you can do is watch, holding your breath and praying, hoping that you've done enough, been enough and have given them a firm enough foundation to withstands all of life's storms that you know lie ahead.  And so, I cry and yell - not sure if I'm sad or angry half of the time.  I'm not perfect.  I'll freely admit that and I am thankful God is forgiving and lets me try again, and still keeps guiding my path. 

So, breath taken, mom armor back up and here we go again.

"God, please let me be the mom they need and help me to always be true to the path you've put in front of them, even though I can't see it.  Let me show love, compassion and respect, even when I don't feel it in return and let them always know that I am here through any storm that they may face.  Amen."