Happy Birthday, Grandma!

Today would have been my grandmother's 85th birthday.  I still haven't really come to terms that she's gone, sometimes thinking of her in the present tense. My aunt Joyce had a celebration planned for her birthday at the nursing home, we were all optimistically thinking she would be here with us to enjoy it.  She loved our celebrations, bringing the family together and having us near.  I think I will miss that the most.  She was our "glue" and I'm not sure what happens next.

In honor of her birthday, I'd like to share the gifts that she gave over the years to me and everyone around her.  She was a special gift to all of us just by being here, but as always with her, she had more to give.

The gift of herself - And not just to her family, but to her community, her church, her friends...even strangers.  She would go out of her way to help someone.  Growing up my grandparents owned a small grocery store/liquor store in Finksburg, Maryland.  I have a million stories to share from that place, but the one that I remember most is Grandma telling me on Thanksgiving on year that a customer came to to the door of their apartment at the store asking to buy celery.  The store wasn't open, and there was no celery anyway but Grandma went into her own refrigerator and gave her celery of her own.  So many more times things like that happened but that was the kind of person she was.

The gift of service - My Grandma was a volunteer for many years at the Milford School District in Delaware where she moved after retiring to help raise my cousins, Jennifer and Jered.  She was even chosen as the school volunteer for the state of Delaware once, and competed for a national honor from the Points of Light campaign from the first President Bush.  But she didn't want all that fuss...all she wanted to do was be a help to the students that loved her so dearly.  The wrote her cards and letters and told her frequently how much they loved her.  She did the same thing at the Christian school where my daughter, Lyndsay, attended.  She always wanted her hands busy, she'd tell me.

The gift of love - She really did love unconditionally.  I was a handful as a kid but she never let on that she knew that.  She just loved me. And she loved everyone the same way.  Her kids at school knew she loved them too, and that type of person can make a difference in everyone's lives they touch.  She used to come and visit me when I first started doing child care and I had one little boy "Sam" that Grandma adored.  He was a hard kid to adore.  Sure, he was cute, but he was not an angel for me.  Grandma would hear none of it.  She'd put him on her lap and snuggle him.  And, he was so compliant when she was there.  It's like he just knew she was there to love him.  When she was no longer able to drive, it was as sad for Sam as it was for me because there were no more Grandma visits and snuggles.

The gift of empowerment - Grandma was not a stay at home mom in an era of stay at home moms.  She was a bank teller, and then she and my grandfather owned first a produce stand, and then expanded to include the liquor store, a sporting goods shop and a very successful crab steaming business.  She made me realize that life was not black and white and there were nothing wrong with either wanting to be home or wanting to work.  I watched her do the books, and learned how to manage money and do some minor accounting.  She was one of my biggest cheerleaders when I decided to open the daycare and she was so proud that I had created my own niche, and owned my own business.

The gift of contentment - Life was not perfect for my grandmother, but you'd never know it to talk to her.  She lost her sight in one eye from a stroke she had when I was a junior in high school, she lost my grandfather when I was twelve, just after they'd retired and sold the store, she watched several siblings predecease her due to cancer, and then her own health issues with her heart and eventually her kidneys plagued her in the last years of her life.  But she never complained, never asked why her, never acted like there was anything to be upset about.  She just lived each day as the present it was and kept moving forward.  She was a true role model for giving it all to God and letting him work out the details.  

The gift of manners - Sounds funny, doesn't it?  But I learned to write thank you cards, to send little notes and cards to others because my Grandma always did it for me.  So, if you've received a thinking of you card from me, a thank you card, or even a little email, thank Grandma,  she taught me well.  :-)  She treated everyone respectfully, and expected her family would do the same.

I really could write about her for paragraph after paragraph but I have to stop somewhere...I guess the biggest gifts that my Grandma leaves behind are her words of wisdom:  give thanks to God for everything, appreciate each day, celebrate the small things, watch where and how you spend your money, be faithful to your family and your word always and love everyone as you want to be loved.  And what better words are those to hear in my ear every day?

I love you and I miss you, Grandma.  And thank you for every gift you brought to my life.